A few years ago my friend and author, Colin Davies created a group in blackpool for horror writers and fans. He named it The Blackpool Horror Society. Unfortunately it no longer operates but the people who came to the monthly gatherings were incredibly talented and they clearly all had sadistic streaks running through them and onto the page.
It was during one November meeting that we were given the challenge of writng a christmas horror story. I decided to write a parody of the christmas classic, ‘A Visit from St Nicholas’, more commonly known as ‘The Night Before Christmas’. However my version has only
I hope you enjoy.
Twas the nightmare of Christmas
And all through the house.
Things were going bump
But it wasn’t a mouse.
The parents were hung
By the fire with no care.
Their heads in a noose
Faces fixed with a stare.
The children now slept
With knives in their beds.
Dreaming of blood
And severing heads.
Disturbing the peace
While the kids took a nap.
Two figures appeared
Gave the windows a tap.
Then they crashed through the door
Young lovers, such a clatter.
They didn’t see the walls
Covered in blood splatter.
The children they woke
And moved in a flash.
Waiting for the moment
To slash, slash, slash!
The lovers they moved
From room to room.
The children they watched
Hidden deep in the gloom.
Then through the front door
He did suddenly appear.
Santa the slayer
And his devil reindeer.
More evil than Satan
His children they came.
He beckoned and greeted
And called them by name.
Now Slasher, now Basher,
Now Shooter, and Hangman.
Now Stabber, now Ripper
Now, Lasher and Axeman
They came from the shadows
And out of the wall
Now slay away, slay away,
slay away all
The lovers heard nothing
Wrapped up in each other
The children crept nearer
Getting ready to smother
Their knives raised high
They were ready to kill
The girl gave a scream
So loud and so shrill
The man tried in vain
To protect his young lover
Knives sliced, through the air
Plunged deep in his liver
She screamed and screamed
And ran out of the room
They soon gave her chase
As she ran to her doom
In to the front room
She was hoping for help
She ran straight into St. Nick
And she gave a loud yelp
He grasped her slim neck
And bared his sharp teeth
The last thing she saw
Was a door and a wreath
Her body went limp
Against his fat belly
It shook as he laughed
Like a bowl full of jelly
He let go of her neck
And she fell to the ground
The children appeared
And they gathered around
He got in his sleigh
And gave them a wave
He told them its time
They have to behave
Then with a swish
Of a long heavy whip
The sleigh moved off
Into the dark it did slip
The children away
To their beds they went
Happy to see
St. Nick content
They closed heavy eyes
And laid down their heads
Back to reality
Snug in their beds
This was a story
Crafted to scare
In fact this is
The Christmas Nightmare.